They haven't got a set of balls between them!

'Pick me voter, I'm ever so smart', I can almost hear the Ralph Wiggum like tones similar to those from the Simpsons character who once proclaimed 'pick me teacher I'm ever so smart'.

The party election machines are trundling into life and the first salvos have been fired.

Brand association & extra value are high on the agenda this election. Much like your visit to Tesco, election time now sees you overwhelmed with promises of extra value from the political parties.

Courtesy of TWAT

Wash with X brand of soap and you too can smell like David Beckham's arse, vote for me and I'll get your bins emptied...after all I've had my picture taken beside Gerry Adams or John Hume and it validates my political position.

Unfortunately the dimwits you haven't seen since the last election, or their new protégés will soon be rattling at your door, promising you the earth for your 1,2 or 3. But regardless of your religious, or political persuasion I would say take a step back and have a wee look at what the parties are doing to part you from your vote.

Courtesy of TWAT

Just look at some of the candidates the parties are fielding. Apart from the obvious, you have to vote for me because my ma, da, aunt, uncle etc is/was an established politician brigade. This applies to Elisha McCallion of $inn Fein, Brian Tierney of the SDLP & Emmet Doyle of the SDLP, & Jimmy Carr of the SDLP who are all related to current/former Councillors, and outside of their paid roles have done nothing for their communities.

And lets not forget we have the co-opted Councillors who now have to either stand or fall on their own merits. Eric McGinley of $inn fein will now be trying to get elected for the third time, having been co-opted twice and rejected by the electorate.

Brian Tierney who was co-opted when Shaun Gallagher of the SDLP stood down faces stiff competition in the shanty area, as does Angela Dobbins (who's she I hear you ask?) from the Culmore area who got Colm Eastwoods seat when he got the MLA seat. And not forgetting $inn fein Councillor Bridget Meehan who was co-opted when the $hinners kicked Lynn Fleming to the sidelines in the Top of the Hill. And lets not forget about the Belfast based Derry SDLP candidates!!! The fun and games are set to begin!

Courtesy of TWAT

One of the current strategies employed by the parties is the 'extra value' factor. This is piss poor pathetic bullshit. What this means is that there are Councillors who hold down day jobs and they don't claim I work in (insert establishment here) because it provides a service to community, and I'm doing it for the good of my health and fair play to them.

Then there are other Councillors who hold down day jobs and would have you believe that they are doing it out of the kindness of their hearts. So these candidates are being sold to the electorate as community workers/activists and so on and so forth. Rhyming off all their achievements, wearing their altruism on their chest proudly for all to see.

I'm a community worker is the war cry – yes but you are a paid community worker councillor! Take away the cushy community/party job and nice salary and see how long they stick around? Even better advertise the job they have and see if they would actually get it after an honest and open interview process.

$inn Fein Councillor Elisha McCallion flits from job to job within different $inn Fein community groups and has actually been caught getting a job handed to her with no interview. So think about this, Elisha McCallion is the type of person who would deny a young person from her community a fair stab at getting a job but she wants you to vote for her.

The sad and simple fact is that all these people standing for election are selected by their parties because they haven't got a set of balls between them, they will all toe the party line, they will repeat the party mantras and when told to jump, they will nearly pish themselves with excitement as they exuberantly cry how high?

Courtesy of TWAT

If you do one thing this coming election consider voting an independent candidate because they only have to account for their actions to the electorate, they don't have to account to party committees and structures. They can vote for what's right, not what they're told to vote for.

Who would you rather have in your corner some 'monkey see, monkey do' dimwit or someone who has the integrity to stand on their own two feet?

I know how my vote will be cast, and I won't be transferring or giving a second preference to anyone.