Sometimes you feel like you're banging your head against a brick wall...

So Said Richard Haass as he ran away from Belfast!

Radiating bullshit!

$inn £ein's Derry Councillor Tony Hassan  has stated that in response to the news that radioactive material had been dumped in a landfill site in the city that 'Residents want to know the full facts of what happened 30 years ago'.

I absolutely agree with Councillor Hassan on this, people have a right to know. Maybe now Tony will also call for full disclosure of $inn £ein's role in prolonging the 1981 Hunger Strike that not only resulted in 10 deaths inside Long Kesh, but others outside including young children.

Maybe Tony will call for full disclosure into the murders of those disappeared and call on his party leader to man up?

Maybe...

But then again you know and I know there's as much chance of that as Ian Paisley turning to Catholicism before he dies cause it's better that one of them papists goes than a staunch Free 'P'.


There's loads of people who want to know what happened in the past... Tony?

Older but none the wiser...

 

Enough Said!!

Untouchable!

There's been talk over the years as to why $inn £ein's Martin McGuinness has led such a charmed life despite hundreds or indeed thousands of his comrades ending up in prison. 

For such a high profile leading member of the provos to have spent so little time either behind bars or being questioned and his easy acceptance of everything he once was supposed to stand against people have begun to look closer at 'Wee Marty'.

In the early 1990's there was talk of operation 'Taurus' when the RUC were poised and ready to arrest him, and had people lined up to testify against him that they were told not to touch him.

Now it would seem that 30 years ago the Free State Government were asking the same thing. McGuinness has claimed he left the provies in 1974, but you couldn't believe his oath considering how many lies he has been caught out on before, a trait shared with party colleague Gerry Adams.

Oddly McGuinness was never question by the RUC about the killing of Derry Provie informer Frank Hegarty, despite Hegarty's mother stating McGuinness had given assurances her son would be returned to her safely and it has been alleged McGuinness  was one of the last known people to speak to Frank Hegarty before his body was found. Nor has McGuinness ever been questioned by the HET despite publicly stating he was an IRA leader up to and after the bloodiest year of the troubles. A Charmed life indeed.

From the Newsletter:

Papers released at the Public Record Office in Belfast today under the 30-year-rule show that both the then Taoiseach, Garret FitzGerald, and senior Dublin civil servants raised the issue with the then Secretary of State, Jim Prior, and his team of NIO officials.

A confidential note of a May 1983 Dublin meeting between Mr Prior and Dr FitzGerald records that the Taoiseach had made “strong representations” about several issues, including Mr McGuinness, though his name is repeatedly misspelt throughout the documents by officials. The first was a belief that there had been “an instruction from a Northern Ireland Minister that their decisions should seek to favour Sinn Fein”, something Mr Prior denied but said he would investigate.

The second point is headlined ‘Reluctance to arrest Mr Maginnis [sic]’.

“Dr FitzGerald said that the evidence from the convicted terrorist Mr Gilmore had succeeded in putting the IRA in Derry in disarray. It was inconceivable, however, that nothing in his evidence had failed to implicate Maginnis [sic]. It seemed, therefore, that it was a policy decision that he should not be arrested. 

Taking the piss

According to reports in the media, there was damage caused to the toilets in Belfast City Hall during a recent $inn £ein seasonal knees up. An punch up ended up in the toilets where a urinal and metal piping were ripped off a wall.

The DUP has demanded “a full and frank public explanation” pity they didn't call for the same when Loyalists attacked City Hall after a democratic decision about the 'fleg' last year.

The damaged facility

Rumour haass it that the removed urinal haass been gift wrapped for a visiting American diplomat as a going away present.

$inn £ein has refused to comment officially, however sources within the party have suggested that Gerry Adams Teddy Bear was to blame. 

'Of course no sanction will be taken against the bear' bemoaned on red eyed, fat lipped $hinner, 'after all it is one of Gerry's special friends, and if he did f**k all about his brother raping a child, he's not going to do anything about a urinal. Now if the bear had questioned the leadership he would've been kicked out and called a tout or alcoholic' continued our source.

Equality in the eyes of the law.

Whats the difference between a Derry Chef and a former member of the UDR / Current DUP Councillor?

This week Belfast DUP Councillor Ruth Patterson who was charged with sending a grossly offensive electronic communication in August had the charge withdrawn 'In the public interest' according to the DPP.

Patterson had commented about an imaginary attack in which marchers, including Sinn Féin figures, are killed. In response to the imaginary attack, she wrote on Facebook: "We would have done a great service to Northern Ireland and the world." 

 

Her party colleague, DUP MLA Jonathan Bell, said his party had "major concerns" about the attempted prosecution of the councillor. "We never saw the need, and don't believe there is justification, for the sensational arrest that she was put through and how she was held for a number of hours.'

This differs completely from what happened to Derry Chef Daryl O'Donnell who got a five month suspended sentence for posting a 'menacing message' about DUP MP Gregory Campbell on Facebook , O'Donnell was also fined £500.

At the time Gregory Campbell said 'Regardless of where such comments are made, they must be taken seriously and should be dealt with in a serious manner by the courts.'

This wouldn't seem to be the case for Councillor Patterson, and lets not forget that Derry DUP Councillor Gary Middleton was giving off earlier this year about people posting what he felt were offensive posts on facebook. 

 

Councillor Middleton was quoted in the BBC as saying '"People seem to find it funny to upload photos of prominent individuals of this city and publicly humiliate them, and make allegations against these people."  This is the same Councillor Middleton who was part of an illegal 'fleg'protest on Derry's peace bridge, so much for shared space eh!

 

So we have yet another example of the hypocrisy of democracy in Northern iron, or maybe the next time a DUP member makes an offensive remark about someone being gay or suggests someone would be doing a great service if someone lost their life in a loyalist terror attack they will come out and robustly condemn them, though I doubt it. 

As for the DPP stating it was in the public interest not to proceed with the charges against Councillor Patterson, I look forward to them giving a full explanation if they say it's in the public interest then let them explain their actions and reasoning to the public.

Iris Robinson once claimed that gay people could be 'cured',
Dirty Ol' Iris said: "I have a very lovely psychiatrist who works with me in my offices and his Christian background is that he tries to help homosexuals — trying to turn away from what they are engaged in. I dunno about curing gays, but maybe the DUP could help find a cure for hypocrisy?

And as for political satire.. well it's been around for years from use by political parties to the mainstream media its there. it hasn't gone away ye know!

Rumours, bargains & lies.

Hot off the BBC website...

The DUP believe there will be a deal as a result of the Haass talks before Christmas. One of the things that may be in the document is a limited form of anonymity for those who tell what part they played in ‘conflict’.

No harm but if it was me I wouldn't be telling anybody anything. The way it’s supposed to work is if you tell the role you played then what you say can’t be used to incriminate yourself, but if the cops get evidence from some other source then they can prosecute. What utter balls!

However instead of quite a number of our political leaders maintaining their roles as armchair generals or lying their balls off that they were never members of an organisation (hands up Gerry Adams) maybe they should lead by example.

But here’s a thing McGuinness says he left the Provos in 1974, so what happens if someone says in 1976, 77 or 85 Martin McGuinness gave him an order to do something. Will McGuinness be subject to a police investigation? Will McGuinness denounce this as lies, or will he be caught lying, or indeed will the $hinners be looking to vet peoples testimony in advance of any submission? What happens if someone says he/she took direct orders from Adams, wouldn't be the first time would it?

Another major issue is ‘Flegs’  the flying of  ‘flegs’ on public buildings or indeed  on public authority land, as with the council depot in Belfast.

So here’s some food for thought, every Easter the $hinners have cemeteries across Northern Iron awash with flegs will they now be applying for licences for each fleg they wish to display? After all these are public places, are they not?

 Will $inn £ein call for the prosecution of someone who wants to fly the 'fleg' of their ‘country’,  or indeed the ‘fleg’ of a member state of the European Union? 

Will $inn £ein be doing similar to what Paisley did in 1964 by demanding the removal of the Irish Tricolour from the window of a Republican Party office in West Belfast?

I wonder how the DUP & $inn £ein sell this  to their grass roots? Will the $hinners say this is another stepping stone to the Republic? The truth is that outside of the DUP & $inn £ein the involvement of the rest of the parties in this process is nothing more than tokenism. And if anyone dares to breathe in the wrong direction they can be assured that these two oligarchs will be quite happy to trot out the John O'Dowd response to disagreement. 'SO WHAT'.

But that's democracy in Northern Iron for you.

The time Haass come...again - Massive Face Palm Time!

I fuckin despair too!

 "I don't think it'll be any secret to people that flags has emerged as the thorniest issue, that remains the case in terms of this first draft (document).

Mike Nesbitt UUP Leader BBC NI News 16th Dec 2013

Well holy fuck, 'flegs' the thorniest issue, there was me thinking it may have been victims!, But sure you're not a victim in everyone's eyes if they are gonna end up with mud on their faces or they or their fellow travelers are implicated. 

If you're a Unionist / Loyalist and the British Government or their security forces are implicated then the victim isn't / wasn't a victim.

If you're a $hinner then everyone apart from a certain selection of those injured/killed by the provos for standing up against the provos or for being a tout is a victim, even the Shankill Buthers were victims according to $inn Fein's Mitchel McLaughlin. 

 So that's victims a la $inn Fein oops, unless they were victims of a pedophile protected by the provisional movement, then they don't count either.

If you're a Stoop, everyone's a victim except those who joined paramilitary organisations.

If you're with the Greens - go home.

If you're with the Alliance - you're a Unionist  so see above.

If you're the Irish Government, you have to wait until Germany tells you what you're allowed to say.

If you're the British Government, you had nothing to do with the conflict in Ireland, you've just been trying to keep the muck savages from each others throats for centuries!

And if Mike Nesbitt's comment that 'Flegs' are the thorniest issue doesn't 'FLEG' up a warning to you then you need your head seen to.

Bloody Sunday, Ballymurphy, Paul Quinn, Andrew Kearney....When does a victim stop being a victim? In what normal democratic society does a 'fleg' become a thornier issue that those murdered and on occasion facilitated or supported by those in Government?

Welcome to Northern Iron!

The time Haass come.

The draft document on the way forward on flags, parades and the past "has good and bad" parts, a DUP MP has said.

Jeffrey Donaldson was speaking after an initial reading of the proposals drawn up by US diplomat Richard Haass. The five main Stormont parties have been examining the document.

One of the scariest things about Stormont and those who run it is that between them they do not represent nearly *50% of the electorate who did not cast a vote in the 2011 Assembly elections. Now you could argue that people had their opportunity to vote but didn’t, however maybe like me they didn’t feel there was anyone standing for election that warranted a vote.

The major problem with voter apathy, and I include myself in this is that it kinda lets those dimwits in Stormont off the hook, and truth be told it maybe does play into their hands as they have their troops galvanised and ready to vote for them not matter what, especially with the $hinners. 

Although I have to admit I was as surprised as anyone when Peter Robinson lost his seat to the Alliance Party, but then again the DUP have been blaming the Alliance party for the flegs debacle in what could be considered an attempt to undermine them in Belfast to regain lost ground.

I firmly believe that those in Stormont, like the majority of politicians and political figures across the globe are nothing but a bunch of self serving knobheads who want you to vote for their ideology. And it doesn’t matter who is in power, the rich will get richer, the poor will get poorer.

The Haass document should be interesting reading, but what concerns me is that the parties will be looking to carve out their own section that protects their interests. But the sheer fact that 15 years after the Good Friday Agreement that the knobheads in Stormont have to run to ‘an outsider’ because they’re just not capable on their own should worry any right thinking person.

As with the Good Friday Agreement, St Andrews Agreement and the Weston Park Agreement it won’t be long before the parties will be back tracking and reinterpreting it, or just ignoring the Haas document when it suits their own needs it's inevitable.

The British Government will be happily playing their usual honest broker role (honestly Guv’nor we had nothing to do with the political situation in the North, it was just sectarianism), and the Irish Government will be playing their usual poor relation role and the people (on both sides of the Irish Sea)  will be stuck in the middle suffering whatever shite comes their way as their respective Governments bankroll the bankers, excuse the tax avoidance of multinational companies and continue to shaft the ordinary people at every turn.

We need good honest political leadership (now there's an oxymoron), we need people power irrespective of what colour you think your fleg is, your children and grand children will continue to deal with this shit long after we are gone. Cancer doesn’t care what colour you are, what way you vote, and unless you’re rich or Gerry Adams (or both) you’ll not have an all expenses paid trip to a private medical clinic in Manhattan to have your arse examined.

What we need is political leadership free of backward thinking creationism and stagnant middle class Catholicism and their associated political designations.

And no before you think it I’m not advocating a left alliance or the latest incarnation of the Socialist Workers Party after they disband People Before Profit, in favour of the SEA, or the ARSE or some other acronym that will vanish as sure as they do after each election.

Two things before I sign off can we ensure that Bono is kept as far away as possible from Northern Iron and maybe just maybe it’s time to let the Bahá'í’s run the show?

* Turnout in the 2011 Assembly election was 54.5%, a decline of almost eight percentage points from the previous Assembly election and down over 15 percentage points from the first election to the Assembly in 1998.

The Big Bung Theory

Super Councils, The name makes them seem as they're gonna be great like 'superman' when realistically they're going be a bigger balls up of red tape, egos and party politics. The simple fact is people at the moment get pissed off at councils, imagine how its going to be when they go super!

What's interesting is that in advance of this change from useless local councils to completely useless supercouncils is that current councillors who have x amount of years of service can get an extra golden handshake of up to £30,000, yup THIRTY THOUSAND QUID. The SDLP's Alex Attwood said the extra money was for councillors who worked hard for long years, "often through the worst of the disorder and violence in Northern Ireland".

Councillors earn a basic payment of about £10,000 a year. More than half of the current 582 councillors could apply for this money providing they meet certain criteria. 

It has been proposed that severance payments should be paid to those who decide not to stand to reward them for their service. The maximum amount a councillor can receive is capped at £35,000 and, just like any other severance scheme, the first £30,000 would be tax free. 

Taking Alex Attwoods comments that the extra money was for councillors who worked hard for long years, "often through the worst of the disorder and violence in Northern Ireland". 

What about the bus men, post office workers, milk me, teachers, self employed shop keepers who worked hard for long years through the worst of the disorder and violence in Northern Iron?

What about those who were unable to work because of the troubles? 

What about those families who lost their main breadwinner during the troubles and were paid a pittance in compensation?

As usual this is nothing more than the politicians giving themselves a golden pat on the back, but like everything here they still can't agree on the way the scheme has been designed.

I doubt many of the average voters would ever get a thirty grand golden handshake when leaving a company, they might get a watch or a clock, or when the Invest NI grant runs out kicked out and their job relocated as the company moves on. 

But lets look at the average redundancy using the online Government redundancy calculator, and not even taking into consideration that many councillors had 'another' job along with their council role, or if they chaired a committee etc they got more money. 

Lets just take this as their one job they're being made redundant from. And truth be told they're not being made redundant they're making a decision to leave at the end of a fixed term contract. Their 'interview' for a new contract is the election, but each election winners begin a new fixed term contract.

The online calculator only goes to 2013, so we input the following.

What date were you made redundant?

1 April 2013

How old were you on the date you were made redundant?

60

How many years have you worked for your employer?

30

What is your weekly pay before tax and any other deductions?

£200

Based on your answers, your statutory redundancy payment is £5,900.

How it’s worked out

Your entitlement is 29.5 weeks.

You get:

• 0.5 week’s pay for each full year you were under 22
• 1 week’s pay for each full year you were 22 or older, but under 41
• 1.5 week’s pay for each full year you were 41 or older

Length of service is capped at 20 years and weekly pay at £450. Years of service or earnings over these amounts aren’t included in the calculation.

The maximum amount of statutory redundancy pay is £13,500.

Redundancy pay under £30,000 is not taxable.

Nice work if you can get it!

A tale of two Nelsons

There have been two Nelson's in the news this week, Mandela & McCausland. Mandela helped free his country McCausland was caught by the short n curlies, so let's look at the latter.

A flying pig?

Just as Gerry was never in the Provos, Martin left in 1974, Nelson McCausland didn't lie about meeting Turkingtons and the money was only resting in father Ted Crilly's account and if you believe that bullshit you will believe absolutely anything.

Dear Nelson, we didn't believe you then, we don't believe you now!

What's this halfwit wittering about now you may ask? A senior civil servant had previously revealed that he was told to change a letter to a Northern Ireland Assembly committee by a minister's private office, Nelson McCausland's private office.

Nelson McCausland's private office then asked for a reference to a firm called Turkington's to be changed to the Glass and Glazing Federation and another company called Fusion 21. It just so happens that Turkingtons is a DUP contributor. Now why would Nelson want to remove the reference to them?

Cast your mind back to the Red Sky fiasco... "I can assure you categorically that I have never sought to influence any contracts, neither this nor indeed any other contract.” said Mr McCausland

Today Mr McCausland apologised for 'inadvertently' misinforming a Stormont committee and apologised to Stormont committee members for "inadvertently misinforming" them.

Aye you looked wile sorry on the news!

Hell yeah - It's Party time!

Hell Yeah, It’s party time, a friend of mine who does vote the monkeys in Stormont asked me a few days ago why I always give the political parties a hard time. We had an interesting discussion about the merits of one party over another, so I thought it would be a good time to put this down on paper... well computer...

So next time you see one of those high paid political pundits on a current affairs programme giving their opinion, just ignore them. Here’s the real deal!

$inn Fein

$inn Fein – translated as ourselves alone, and they truly are! If ever there was a more apt political party name with the exception of the raving monster loony party then I have yet to find it. A more self serving jobs for the boys, do as we say not as we do narcissistic bunch of fuckers you will never find. 

The sad thing is that $inn Fein are a well oiled machine that the other parties could learn from in terms of lies, mass manipulation and propaganda, but then again so was the Nazi party. 

$inn Fein are fine exponents of the Good Friday Agreement when the notion takes them and are  adept at playing the victim card, except when the victims are as a result of their cohorts actions.

Not to be confused with $inn Fein in the South of Ireland because despite their claims to be an all Ireland party they have policies in the six counties that they don’t have in the free state. In the six counties they promote cuts to services and austerity, but in the free state they condemn the Government for it.

And just don’t mention abortion, or anything to do with child abuse cover up’s, protecting child abusers or that their leader had his speeches written and vetted by the British Government. Gerry was never in the Provies, Martin left in 74 and Gerry helped compose Monty Python's 'Always look on the bright side of life'. God help them if they ever get the international truth commission they've been calling for, because if the truth was a dog and it bit them on the arse they wouldn't know it!

 The Alliance Party

The Alliance Party – With whom or what this bunch of clowns are in an Alliance with is beyond me. Helmed by one of the scariest looking men in politics.  If you look up the meaning of Alliance you get

 Alliance

 əˈlʌɪəns/
 noun: A union or association formed for mutual benefit, especially between countries or organizations.


Needless to say I’m still none the wiser. There’s not a lot can be said about the Alliance Party, although their main man got the justice ministers position when elements in Stormont decided that as under D’hont it would have to go to the SDLP, they couldn't have that. So $inn Fein & the DUP decided to scrap that arrangement despite it being agreed under the Good Friday Agreement. Alliance showed their respect for the Good Friday Agreement, not by refusing the post, but by taking it hand over fist.

Not to be confused with Allianz, because they do insurance.

 The Ulster Unionist Party

In fairness under Davy Trimble the UUP put a lot on the line to bring about the Good Friday Agreement, only to have to fight off the DUP, who despite condemning the GFA as the biggest sell out since Judas got his 30 pieces of Silver now implement it, with gusto when it suits them (see Alliance Party re D’hont & the Justice ministry.) But then again Davy was always in favour of an internal settlement.

Decimated with more splits than a troupe of travelling gymnasts the UUP are a shadow of their former selves, with the exception of Davy Trimble’s beard. Now headed by former tv presenter Mike Nesbitt ,the UUP are no longer the dogs bollox of Northern Iron politics, just one of the bollocks, and if another split happens could end up as a half bollock.

Not to be confused with Uup – Ununpentium, Ununpentium is the temporary name of a synthetic superheavy element in the periodic table that has the temporary symbol Uup and has the atomic number 115.  

NI21

Born of a split with the UUP, NI21 are one of the more recent additions to the political scene here in Northern Iron. Their name is said to represent 21^st Century Politics for Northern Iron. NI21 are a self styled non sectarian Unionist party.

What is interesting is you could infer that NI21 by claiming they are not sectarian are stating that the other Unionist parties are sectarian. Now considering the leaders of NI21 sat happily in the UUP ranks and only left when there was a merger with the DUP mooted their bona fides on being non sectarian must be questioned.

Another interesting thing about NI21 is that for a self proclaimed cross community party they designate themselves as unionist and not other. Although in fairness they do support gay marriage and have tried to move away from the usual perception of unionism. 

If you meet Basil just don't ask does he want to judge a beauty pageant, but if you do be prepared for the Dup’s Arlene Foster to have her nose further out of joint. 

Not to be confused with pepsi 21.

DUP

Ah the Democratic Unionist Party, bastions of creationism, god fearing exponents of the family unit. Democratic unless disagreeing with a democratic decision by elected representatives or a legally binding decision by the Parades Commission, a la the fleg. Rabidly anti good friday agreement or any agreement until they ousted the UUP as unionisms top dog and Paisley could live out his fantasy to be the next Edward Carson, without the lederhosen or leather chaps!

The DUP have never been able to separate their right wing Christian fundamentalist views from their political stance, from their 1977 Save Ulster from Sodomy campaign to Edwin Poots recent gay blood and adoption fiascos.

Just don’t mention the leaders wife who pontificated about the evils of homosexuality whilst having her biblical wicked way with a fella young enough to be her son along with this indiscretion, land deals, the theory of evolution and them associating with loyalist paramilitaries should also be avoided.

TUV

Where would we be without Jim Allister of the TUV? The man is the pain in the arse of Stormont and could be considered the only form of opposition in the house on the hill. He does ask questions that raise issues of Stormont’s wastage of public money, and to be fair he is like a dog with a bone, but outside of that would Jim want a fenian about the place is not really a matter of conjecture.

Unfortunately Jim can be off the beam a little, Jim recently criticised the BBC for not giving Maggie Thatcher the same coverage as Nelson Mandela, I’m sure even Jim could see the disparity between the two, Mandela is revered across the world,  Thatcher was despised by even her own.

Jim is so hardcore he split from the DUP and Willie Frazer wants to be Jim when he grows up. 

Despite Politics being full of tits the TUV should not  be confused with TUV Rheinland who were involved with a dodgy breast implant scandal.

The Green Party

Sadly the Greens seem unwilling or unable to rock the boat, in a prime position to challenge the status quo and lead on environmental and human rights issues the greens are happy to play ball, with everyone.

 If there was a party I could have an affinity for it would be the greens. Sadly they are as much use as an ashtray on motorbike who have their environmentally friendly arse cheeks wedged on both sides of a recycled fence.

If they ever do remove their arse from the fence I hope they get splinters, or a bad case of piles to teach them the price of being to Northern Iron politics what erectile dysfunction is to a happy sex life.

SDLP

The Social Democratic & Labour Party – Under their Nobel Peace prize winning leader John Hume they masterminded the Good Friday Agreement, and then they disappeared up their own arse overtaken by $inn Fein as the main force in Nationalist Politics. With a lot of their main figures, Hume, Mallon, Rodgers out to pasture the SDLP have never regained past glories and with the clowns running the party they never will.

The party has had three leaders since Hume stood down all three have been beyond useless. The recent scandal with Conall McDevitt, (the money was only resting in my wife’s account ) was partly offset by his speedy admission of wrongdoing and resignation, which with him being a politician had to be admired.

Other problems haunt the party, the fact that they all can’t stand each other being one and there are more fractures than the A&E dept in the Royal on the twelfth as a result of this. That they stand complete imbeciles for election being another, on the basis that they will jump when told to, shite when told to and will not rock the party boat.

But let’s not also forget their current leader looking for a payrise for MP’s when the rest of us are all shafted, let’s not forget that they voted in favour of people working for their benefits and let’s not forget that their Derry MP was out praising the bravery of the Parachute regiment and other British Army regiments in the far east, despite the Para’s being responsible for the massacres in Ballymurphy and on Bloody Sunday in Derry.

Now when it's spelled out like that is there any of those fuckers you would consider giving a vote to... naw me neither!

Here's Johnny!

It won't be long now until we see John Hume being wheeled out to pose along side mini stoops, after all there's an election looming. As we all know $inn Fein has morphed into the SDLP (albeit with a few disappeared in closet). And the SDLP, well with no identity of their own they've morphed into the raving monster loony party or an aberration of it, with policies as coherent as Lord Sutch's to boot.

Now people are well used to $hinners sticking up a new plaque on a wall to give the party faithful something to do or holding a commemoration for a bucket that was kicked over by a Brit during a house raid in 1971. (And I must add what a fine bucket it was too, came from a long line of buckets that had served the republican cause well over the years.)

So it would seem this past number of years the SDLP have their own bucket to wheel out, this bucket has a name, this bucket is John Hume.

Sadly John Hume's health has deteriorated over the past few years, and it is a well know fact the man is not well and has major memory problems. Despite his poor health the SDLP wheel him out for photo op after photo op when they need to pretend they have some relevancy.

In light of this my dear Stoops can I point out two things.

1. Standing beside John Hume doesn't give you any credibility, it just means you've stood beside him, he doesn't have the fucking foggiest who you are. Leave the man alone.
   
   
2. If the basis for you building your political party can only come from wheeling out a former leader for a photo then give the fuck up now. 
   
   But if all else fails, you always have Mark H Durkan... and with that I'm away to laugh my balls off all the way to the pub.

We serve neither King, nor Kaiser but ourselves

Evil Opportunist $cum are the best words I can think of  when I heard that a $inn Fein leading light has built a nice property portfolio on the backs of ordinary families being evicted from ther homes.

Words do truly escape me.  

Is this how they are going to establish a Socialist Republic?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-19805478

The devil is in the details.

'These were brave officers doing their duty, as the say it, in the same way as the IRA volunteers would see themselves as doing their duty as they saw it.'

 Gerry Adams Irish Parliament 5^th December 2013

The devil is truly in the details, and I'm not getting into the rights or wrongs of someone losing their life irrespective of the 'circumstances'. The reason I'm mentioning this at all is I was speaking to an acquaintance today who had a cousin in the IRA who was killed. He said did you notice that Adams didn't refer to the IRA men as brave, only the RUC men.

And if that was Adams logic then were the IRA men who were 'doing their duty' in Loughgall killed by brave SAS men who were only doing their duty? Or what about the young people maimed or killed by brave RUC officers firing plastic bullets and only doing their duty? As with everything here there are at least 2 sides to every story, well usually more, but I have to admit my acquaintance has a point and Adams could further alienate some of his support base.

Like most of the rubbish Gerry Adams spouts it's generally nothing more than self-aggrandising bullshit wrapped in rhetoric and coated in lies, and we all know Gerry is a piss poor liar.

The devil is truly in the details.

Stomach Turner'ing' - Viva La Bogside Artists

Derry's famous Bogside Artists launched their latest artwork in Derry's Guildhall Square rallying against the much vaunted Turner prize being held in the city as part of the city of culture. The question of why such internationally respected artists should feel the need in their home town to question the validity of hosting the Turner prize should be asked.

The truth is that the Bogside artists have been shafted by Derry City Council despite thousands of visitors viewing their outdoor gallery each year and international recognition. It would seem that not being content to rewrite history and their own part the politicians now want at worst to airbrush the history painted on the Bogside walls, or at best let them fade away.

Neither should be allowed to happen.

And to think this pile of shit below cost £25,000 pounds, yes twenty five thousand pounds!And when people began to question the value for money or lack of, it vanished!

And many people had a different view to that of  Derry Ciy Council.

Nelson in wonderland...

Honestly yer honour he was only playing a traditional tune... as he passed a catholic church in violation of a legally binding determination by the Parades Commission.

A jail sentence given to a flute band member for playing the loyalist song, The Sash, outside a Belfast Catholic Church has been described as draconian.  Bands had been told they could only play hymns or a single drumbeat as they passed St Matthew's Church. Criticising the sentence, DUP assembly member Nelson McCausland said the parade had "passed virtually without incident".

VIRTUALLY WITHOUT INCIDENT!

How many parades commission determinations have been broken by the Orange Order and their supporters, even the ongoing Loyalist camp at Twadell is illegal they are on land owned by NIHE, which comes under the remit of Nelson, so by not removing the camp is Nelson giving tacit support to the illegal occupation of the grounds, or is he just happy to facilitate illegal activity.

Ower tae ye Nelson.

Fuck off Phil Coulter we have it in the bag!

Yup you read it right, before Phil Coulter jumps in with Northern Iron's call, or some other woeful baleful rubbish we have it sussed, not only have we come up with the new fleg, we've come up with a new national anthem.

Inspired by those who lead us.

In tribute to the pirate privateers

How's that for an anthem!

He Haassn't a fuckin clue!

So Richard Haass has asked the five main Stormont parties for their views on a potential new NI fleg. If ever there was a reason for this fella to go home this is it, he Haass truly no understanding of Northern Iron. I wonder how he would react if someone was to suggest replacing the stars and stripes?

Our man on the inside managed to get a sneak peek at some of the documents that Dicky boy is using for his terms of reference,  we were quite shocked and we fear that these weighty tomes may be too, well, ah weighty for the numbskulls in the higher echelons of Stormont.

Dicky's reference books.

But in the festive spirit of goodwill we will be producing our own fleg submission for Ol Dick, we'll keep you updated and will publish our submission here soon.

Now where the fuck did I put me crayons?

Red Sky at night

Northern Ireland's top law officer has said he is unable to disclose the legal advice he gave to the first minister following a BBC Spotlight programme.

Unable or won't?
 

No Stranger to controversy...

That god fearing bastion of creationism Edwin Poots has been no stranger to controversy recently. The DUP Stormont Minister for Health has been using public money to promote his personal beliefs. Edwin has banned people who are gay from giving blood, despite allowing blood to be imported from England which may contain blood from gay people.

Edwin also would rather see children remain in care homes rather than go to homes with loving parents who happen to be in a civil partnership, thus ruling out gay couples who have made a loving commitment to each other... anyone see a pattern?

Edwin is up there with $inn Fein's John 'So What' O'Dowd in gulpin status, but may just pip O'Dowd at the post with this blast from the past when he offered loyalist Gary McMichael a fight, he didn't debate with or hear McMichael out...

I just love democrats, don't you?

When illegal isn't really illegal, or is it?

In todays BBC news Belfast woman Tracey Coulter accused the UDA of an arson attempt on her house and this got me thinking. The UDA are a proscribed (illegal) organisation in Norn Iron so why hasn't Jackie McDonald UDA leader been arrested?

McDonald has been named time and time again in the media as UDA leader something he has never contested yet he swans about Stormont, meets the 'mainstream' political leadership on a regular basis and has even been on cosy trips to Wales with the PSNI.

Jackie McDonald UDA with Peter Robinson DUP Leader & First Minister of Norn Iron

So it must be asked why has the leader of an illegal loyalist paramilitary group immunity from prosecution?

What provision is there in legislation for the PSNI & the political leaders in Stormont to consort with alleged known terrorist leaders?

Why are the political parties not demanding answers?

Time and time again the DUP have been happy to play the Democrat card, yet consort with terrorists and malcontents, the picture below is then DUP MP William McCrea who quite happily shared a platform with LVF founder and terrorist leader Billy 'King Rat' Wright.

Billy 'King Rat' Wright & William McCrea

 And despite all this they continue to claim they are democrats!

I love the smell of bullshit in the morning

The political machines are warming up again, prepping for the upcoming election next year, the amount of bullshit that will be spouted over the next few months will only be surpassed by the false promises to get you to vote one way or the other. Personally speaking they're all a bunch of useless bastards, but don't take my word for it! Just look at their track record. Where's the expansion of Magee University that $inn Fein guaranteed at the last Stormont Election? Why haven't MLA's and Councillors who took part in illegal 'Fleg' protests been censured by their parties?

In 2011 as part of their election drive $inn Fein had posters around Derry that stated they ($inn Fein) guaranteed the expansion of Magee University, yet on the 17th  September  2013 Raymond McCartney of $inn Fein stated in Stormont 'We said that the expansion of Magee would be guaranteed.  We will guarantee its expansion as we go forward.'   this was despite an open letter published in June 2013 signed by all of the $inn Féin public representatives in Derry expressed “concern and frustration” at the lack of progress on the expansion of the Magee campus of the University of Ulster. 

Maybe $inn Fein would like to give a date as to when they will deliver on their guarantee? After all Peter Robinsons Deputy, The Steward and Bailiff of the Manor of Northstead Martin McGuinness stated that there would be a United Ireland by 2016 and really if that didn't register on peoples bullshit meter then I would check to see if it's working or not.

The DUP those democracy loving creationists are also experts in bullshit, in recent years the DUP Deputy mayor of Derry has criticised Republican group RNU and called on them to show common sense when protesting at the mouth of the peace bridge.  In the Londondery Sentinel Mr Middleton claimed 'that pedestrians who wanted to use the bridge were forced to “squeeze past the protesters in single file,” which for some had been “quite intimidating”. Now this is the same boyo who took part in a 'Fleg' protest that blocked the very same peace bridge, and as you can see from Gary's picture posted on his twitter feed, he and his fellow travellers took heed of his own words there is ample room for everyone wearing a 'Fleg', but as for anyone else, well they might've felt a little bit intimidated...

But the DUP's politics could never be considered middle of the road... not unless...