Conditional

In regards to Sinn Féin's support for policing in Northern Ireland, he said that would continue if the situation with Mr Adams is resolved in a satisfactory manner.

"If it doesn't, we will have to review that situation." Martin McGuinness BBC

So here it is Sinn Fein's support for policing will only continue if they get their own way, that is the level of leadership, our way or the highway.

The truth is Sinn Fein have nowhere to go, either they support the rule of law, or they don't- but it would seem that this is a common trait among the political parties in Norn Iron, they'll only support something when it suits them.

I've seen halfwit Shinners arguing online that Adams' detention is wrong. Unlike other people Adams

Conditional Support for Justice?

didnt have his door kicked in in the early hours, he knew that in presenting himself to the PSNI that he could well be arrested, and if necessary charged. I've seen Shinners online arguing that no one should be arrested over their past, well their pre 1998 past.

Do they apply this to the murdering para's who butchered people on Bloody Sunday, or in Ballymurphy?

Or likey everything they do is Sinn Fein's support of the Bloody Sunday victims families conditional in that they do what Sinn Fein says?

Lost in translation

You can feel their eyes buring a hole in the back of your head as you scurry past. Their grimmaced smiles not the least bit inviting, scaring children, causing car accidents as motorists let go of their steering wheels to cover their eyes.

It's election time, but what if instead of the usual shite the posters were actually truthful, so we got our heads together and translated election posters for you.

What if election posters told the truth?

Alliance - National Origami Competition Sponors

Still wheeling out John Hume for credibility

Who's your Daddy?

Be afraid, be very afraid.

Who was that masked man?

Mike shoulda kept the day job!

Ni & nothing much else

Hardcore Harry from Holywood

Environmentally friendly bullshit!

Anybody got an anadin?

Just ask Sammy Wilson!

Protected Species... Do not disturb!

Don't feed the $hinner!

Top $hinner $ean '$pike' Murray  was accused on BBC Spotlight of being the brains behind a Provo gun running scheme, this was after the $hinners had not only signed up to the principles of non violence, this was after the Good Friday Agreement was signed.

In a statement, Mr Murray told the BBC programme he had never been questioned about the smuggling claims by detectives and that he was committed to peace.

"The regurgitation of these allegations will not deflect me, as intended, from pursuing my political aspirations through my work either in the assembly or at community level on a daily basis," the statement said.

The funny thing is that Murray seems to equate not being questioned by the peelers over the gun smuggling as some sort of evidence he wasn't involved.

No Hopers!

Oddly enough despite being a self confessed PIRA and OIRA member,  pictured holding a gun, and being one of the last people to have spoken to Derry man Frank Hegarty before he was found dead Martin McGuinness has never had his collar felt by the peelers.

Martin in the good 'ol IRA

The DUP say they are looking for answers from the peelers, bottom line is that you know and I know that Murray & McGuinness won't be touched, unlike a fella in Derry who answered a cop using the Irish language and now faces terrorism charges.

Truly an island of equals with parity of esteem for all, as long as you're in $inn Fein.

The strength of his convictions, the reason for his lack of convictions?

On UTV live Broadcast at 6pm on 7 April it showed footage of Martin McGuinness speaking outside the Bloody Sunday Inquiry. McGuinness said 'I would rather die than disrupt, or destroy my code of honour to the IRA'

A quick search on the Cain website at the University of Ulster and you can find the 'Green Book', this is the IRA's rules and regulations.

One of the opening passages states

YOU DON`T TELL YOUR FAMILY, FRIENDS, GIRLFRIENDS OR WORKMATES THAT YOU ARE A MEMBER OF THE I.R.A. DON`T EXPRESS VIEWS ABOUT MILITARY MATTERS, IN OTHER WORDS YOU SAY NOTHING to any person.

So we can safely say that Martin didn't 'destroy or disrupt his code of honour to the IRA' he chucked it out the window. Say what you want about Gerry the Paedophile protector Adams, despite being a proven liar, he has kept his oath to the IRA.

I do feel sorry for $hinners, their mighty warrior is so far up England's arse it's hard to tell where his Irishness ends and his Britishness begins, but if you take Rose Hegarty's thoughts about him, then his Irishness ended 30 pieces of silver ago.

I'm just glad I was never duped.

Redefining stupid

If there's something you need done by a politician or aspiring one, now is the time to ask!

No task will be too small, no challenge too great. Why? There's a blooming election on the horizon on the way. So here's ten top things that politicians will do, as long as you don't mind them getting their picture taken.

1. Have a blocked drain because you accidently flushed a ford cortina down the khazi, no problem they'll tear it out with their bare hands if necessary.

2. Can't reach round to ensure one's posterior is clean, no problem throw a quick post on facebook and you'll have loads of helping hands.

3. Concerned about an elderly relative choking on malteaser chocolate, never fear they'll line up to suck the choclolate of those wee malty balls.

4. Need a bubble for your spirit level, or a needle for your cd player, sorted!

5. Bad hair day, no problem any time, any place, anywhere!

6. Can't get a taxi after a night out on the piss, just give them a ring first to turn up gets your vote *NB the $hinners have an advantage as they own Derry Taxis.

7. You break both arms and your balls/arse is itchy... it's scratch & sniff time.

8. People looking for your bank details outside shopping centres, just ring your local candidate and give their details, no problems.

9. Stuck in a queue for a call centre... no problems just ring your local candidate and they'll sit on the phone for you, they've got nothing better to do.

10. Unsure if the food item on the edge of it's use by date is bad for you, they'll gladly come round and do a quick taste test.

Such dedication!

Let the games begin, and I'm sure you can think of a few of your own,

Two Headlines...One halfwit

Poor $hinners, it would seem that their dirty dealings are coming back to haunt them, and just on the mouth of an election.

But lets forget about on the runs for a minute.

Never one to miss an opportunity to get some publicity regardless of who has their reputation sullied the $hinners, or in this case a specific one is making a complete tit of herself.

Shinner Martina Anderson has accused a number of Derry women of vandalising a mural, the two woman found the mural hanging off it's mount and fixed it because it was in a dangerous state. MEP Martina accused them of damaging it. The Sinn Fein representative had claimed she saw two women damaging the artwork at Little Diamond on Wednesday night, describing it as “shameful.”

Will Martina now apologise? Somehow I don't think so.

A couple of years ago a young Derry man stood accused of raping an American tourist. At the time of the alleged attack Martina issued statements condemning the 'rape' held a candleight vigil for the victim. The young Derryman accused of the attack was found INNOCENT. At the time the alleged offence was reported Anderson said 'There was shock and revulsion in the Bogside community as word of this attack spread. I would like to extend my thoughts and sympathies to the young teenage girl and her family. It must have been a very traumatic and frightening experience.

When the young man was found innocent, I wonder did Martina lead the charge to apologise? I would say she didn't, that wouldn't make for a good headline would it? Did Martina come out and say that the experience for the real victim in this case the wrongly accused Derryman must have been a very traumatic and frightening experience.

I don't think so.

I suppose what we can learn from this is that Martina Anderson is happy to grab a headline and damn the consequences to someone accused in the wrong. That Martina Anderson doesn't believe in innocent until proved guilty, and that she is a complete arse... no one is safe with people like Martina Anderson running about.

So full of shit!

Need a plumber call allshite engineering!

Environmental giant SDLP Councillor Brian Tierney who recently replaced Shaun Gallagher as a Councillor in the Shantallow area was on the radio talking about problems with the sewer system up around the Leafair/Lenamore area of Galliagh. Brian was blaming Galliagh people for flushing all sorts down their loo's dead giraffes, double decker buses. But little did Brian know he was part of an SDLP conspiracy to cover up the real reason the pipes around Leafair had become clogged.

After tonights Spotlight on BBC TV we found the real reason,  anxiety induced diarrhea from the Lenamore area, where it just so happens a former mayor of the city resides... one who just happened to feature prominently in tonights Spotlight.

I suppose when you're caught looking like a complete tool the ol arse muscles will go into overdrive.

Not to say I've no sympathy, after a Spice of India special I can relate, So Shaun Gallagher, here's some useful information below from my friends at calmclinic.com.