If there's something you need done by a politician or aspiring one, now is the time to ask!No task will be too small, no challenge too great. Why? There's a blooming election on the horizon on the way. So here's ten top things that politicians will do, as long as you don't mind them getting their picture taken.
1. Have a blocked drain because you accidently flushed a ford cortina down the khazi, no problem they'll tear it out with their bare hands if necessary.
2. Can't reach round to ensure one's posterior is clean, no problem throw a quick post on facebook and you'll have loads of helping hands.
3. Concerned about an elderly relative choking on malteaser chocolate, never fear they'll line up to suck the choclolate of those wee malty balls.
4. Need a bubble for your spirit level, or a needle for your cd player, sorted!
5. Bad hair day, no problem any time, any place, anywhere!
6. Can't get a taxi after a night out on the piss, just give them a ring first to turn up gets your vote *NB the $hinners have an advantage as they own Derry Taxis.
7. You break both arms and your balls/arse is itchy... it's scratch & sniff time.
8. People looking for your bank details outside shopping centres, just ring your local candidate and give their details, no problems.
9. Stuck in a queue for a call centre... no problems just ring your local candidate and they'll sit on the phone for you, they've got nothing better to do.
10. Unsure if the food item on the edge of it's use by date is bad for you, they'll gladly come round and do a quick taste test.
Such dedication!
Let the games begin, and I'm sure you can think of a few of your own,
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